


Lullaby

by sillywillydilly



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Boyfriends, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Separation Anxiety, True Love, bobbin, doubleb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-07-25 14:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillywillydilly/pseuds/sillywillydilly
Summary: I whisper your name at night,"Will you please hold me tight?"But you're far away, you took my heart.Kiss me later, when you return,so forever we will not part.A fluffy DoubleB reimagine.





	1. Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended song to listen to: Lullaby by Jeff Bernat

The hotel door closes with a thud. Bobby sighs. He’s glad that he finally reaches his hotel room, his home away from home for the next 2 nights. He wonders if it can actually be called home, when his “home” is not there with him. 

“Hhh..I miss you already, Binnie. It’s not the same without you here with me..”

Bobby takes out his phone from the pocket of his jeans, his Spotify app is currently playing the song ‘Stigmatized’ by The Calling. Hanbin texted him to listen to the song right before Bobby and the rest of the group boarded the flight to Tokyo. Four hours later and he still is unreachable by phone. Bobby knows more than anyone that sometimes Hanbin need his alone time; however, he’ll usually notify Bobby where he will be or what he will do before turning his phone off. 

Bobby opens his messaging app, checking to see if the tick has turned blue to indicate that the receiver had read the message. He clicked on the most recent message, it has the profile pic of two boys wearing a silly grin on their faces while eating pizza. Bobby grins everytime he sees it, it’s an old picture of him and Hanbin from 2016, the day they almost passed out from eating too much at the pizza place near the training studio. Bobby sighs once again, the tick turned blue but there’s still no reply from Hanbin, understandably so. Hanbin needs time to process this new situation where they have to be apart for a long period of time due to work commitment.

Bobby tosses his backpack to the ground carelessly, and regretting it seconds later now that he’s realizing there’s a laptop inside. He throws himself onto the bed, hands wandering to the empty spot where Hanbin will usually lay beside him. He closes his eyes, and falls asleep as he’s clutching his phone on his hand.

He’s woken up from the sudden buzz from his phone, for a split second Bobby thought it was Hanbin calling him but it turns out to be Jinhwan. 

“What’s up Hyung? I was napping earlier having the most wonderful dream before you woke me up,” says Bobby fake sulking. He was definitely not having the most wonderful dream because he barely remembers what it was.

“Haha, don’t lie Bob, I know you rarely dream when you don’t have Binnie as your human pillow. I’m just wondering if you want to to join us for dinner? June proposed we try out that Gyukatsu restaurant down in Kabukicho area. I heard it’s really good,” Jinhwan replies.

“No sashimi though right?”

“Bob, I’ve known you since you were an itty bitty baby patootie. I’m aware you can’t eat seafood as much as I’m aware that your favorite color is purple,” answers Jinhwan sassily. “Now will you join us?” Jinhwan asks once again.

“Only if you promise we’ll go to Don Quijote afterwards.”

“You got it, Bob. See you at the lobby.” Jinhwan hangs up. 

Bobby checks once again at his phone, wondering if he’ll finally hear from Hanbin. Still no answer. He figures he’ll try calling Hanbin once again before he heads to the Lobby. One ring, two rings, three rings, it finally goes to the automated voicemail.

“Binnie, where are you..” Bobby was about to text him when he sees the typing bubble appearing, indicating that the person on the other side is typing something. He waits and waits but the three dots disappear without a new message. 

_Bin, I know you read my message. I’m heading out to eat with Jinhwan Hyung and June. I’ll call you a bit later when I get back to the hotel, k? I love you._

Bobby closes the app as soon as he hit send. He puts on his cap and heads out the door with a heavy heart.


	2. Wish You Were Here

Lights from the neon signs illuminates the street of Tokyo in such a festive glow. Bobby has his head leaning against the car window, tummy full of delicious food and he’s getting a bit sleepy. June and Jinhwan chattering in the backseat, talking in Japanese that’s a bit too complex for him to understand. If only Hanbin is there with them, he’ll probably be bickering with June all the way to Don Quijote and back to the hotel. Bobby misses that so much. 

The car speeds by a group of Pikachu and Mario costumed group driving go karts, and Bobby can see them having so much fun. He remembers the time when Hanbin saw them for the very first time in Shibuya and kept on whining to to try it. Bobby smiles. Everything seems to remind him of Hanbin even when he’s out here in Japan.

Bobby scrolls through all the pictures he took of the food earlier. He sent a bunch to Hanbin, including a video of the sizzling juicy meat on top of the hot stone with a drooling face emoji. He also sent a picture of the huge Godzilla statue on the roof of the hotel in front of the restaurant, making a mental note to himself to take Hanbin to stay at the Godzilla room one day. He was about to take a picture of Jinhwan and June pinching each other's cheeks for a dare when he receives a new message. PLINK! A banner on top of shows the name of the sender, it was Hanbin. He clicks on it hastily, it reads, _Okay Babhyung, I’ll be waiting. I miss you, I love you._

“Finally,” Bobby mumbles. 

Jinhwan looks at him while rubbing his cheeks that are now red because of June, “Hanbin finally replies?” Jinhwan asks casually. 

“Yeah, it’s a short reply though. He said he’s waiting for my call,” Bobby looks out the window trying to decide if he’s going to reply. 

“Cheer up Bob,” Jinhwan pats his head and rubs on Bobby’s back, “He’ll come around. He’s just finding it hard to adjusts to things, as we all are. This will not be forever though, we won’t be separated that much longer.” 

Bobby nods and smiles his bunny smile to Jinhwan. They do bicker a lot, as all brothers are, but Jinhwan holds a special place in his heart. The foundation and protector to their team, the voice of reason and nurturer to Bobby and Hanbin. “I get it Hyung, thank you.” 

Bobby decides to reply Hanbin with a selfie of him and Jinwhan pretending to pull each other’s hair, complete with a caption; _Help me Binnie, this little hyung is trying to make me bald! He’s jealous of my luscious red hair! _

Right after he hits send, the driver announces in Japanese that they’ve arrived in Akasaka-Mitsuke. Jinhwan and June goes straight to the Abura Soba place to meet up with Yunhyeong and Donghyuk before heading to Donki. Chanwoo and one of the managers are queuing up for takoyaki nearby. They all had agreed to meet up in front of Donki at 10 pm to head home together. 

Bobby enters the store alone, and immediately he’s greeted with the familiar jingle, “Don don don donki, Don Ki Jo Te….” “Ah another thing that reminds me of you, Baby,” Bobby thinks of Hanbin fondly. He grabs a shopping basket from the nearest pile and heads straight to the second floor to grab some of his and Hanbin’s favorite chips. As he peruses through the countless snack aisles with a half full basket in tow, he sees a new limited edition Evangelion themed snack. He smiles and puts it in his basket without hesitation. As he moves to the next floor up, he keeps on piling more and more snacks that he knows Hanbin enjoyed last time they came to visit Japan. He’s not forgetting to stop at the underwear section to pick up a set of briefs for Hanbin. He himself prefer to wear boxers and usually stocks on it whenever he’s visiting the US, but he’ll sometimes borrow Hanbin’s briefs too.

As soon as Bobby steps to the fourth floor, the elevator next to the stair dings and out comes Jinhwan and the rest of the members. Their hands are also full with goodies, Donghyuk with his oversized tees, Jinhwan with a bottle of whiskey he’ll share with June tonight, Yunhyeong with his designer underwear, and Chanwoo with the latest gaming gear.

Donghyuk slings his arms around Bobby’s shoulder to greet him. “Bobby Hyung, isn’t that too much snack for one person?” says Donghyuk jokingly. Bobby does not reply but he teases Donghyuk instead by pulling down his beanie to cover his eyes. “Ey this Hyung!,” Donghyuk uses his fake angry voice while fixing back the beanie. Chanwoo giggles at the both of them while the rest are already dispersing, it seems like they are all trying to find something from the assortment of goodies on that floor. 

Bobby walks to the fitness section, thinking of buying an ankle weight to help him exercise during tours. He’s bending over trying to see the options on the lower sections when he feels tickles on his waist. “Binnie?” But then he quickly realizes that there’s no way it was Hanbin. He turns back to see who it was and sees Yunhyeong smiling. 

“What are you looking for, Bobby-ah?”

“Ah, just some ankle weights. You want one too Yunhyeong-ah? This one can apparently doubles as both ankle and wrist weights.” Bobby hands him the one he takes from the lower aisle.

Yunhyeong takes it and puts it in his own basket. He then speaks to Bobby softly, “Bobby-ah, we’re all thinking of buying Hanbin a souvenir. Something that has Evangelion on it, maybe? What do you think? Or is he into a new anime these days?” 

“Hmm..Evangelion is still his all time favorite. Yeah, that’s a good idea, he would love anything that has Evangelion on it. Oh, and maybe Pokemon and Rick and Morty too,” Bobby grins. 

“Okay!” Yunhyeong smiles and touches Bobby’s shoulder lightly before leaving him to join the others in the anime corner. Bobby feels his phone vibrates in his jeans pocket, he checks to see and it’s a reply from Hanbin. 

_Are you back at the hotel yet? I miss you. Tell the others I miss them too, but not as much as I’m missing you. ;) _

_I’ll be back in a bit. They miss you lots Binnie. We all wish you were here. But no one misses you more than I do. Cant wait to hug you._

_Come back soon and give me the tightest hug. I swear I won’t ever let go. ^-^ Okie Babhyung, I’ll just be playing with Hanbyul in the meantime. She needs a bit of help finishing her summer project. I L U bunny. _

_Okie, I love you too my baby quail._

Bobby walks over to the anime corner and sees that they have picked an Evangelion figurine and 2 plushies, a Detective Pikachu and Mr. Meeseeks. “Ready to go, Bob?” Jinhwan asks when he sees Bobby walking over. “Yeah. I got all I need. Now all I need is to hear my baby’s voice and sees his silly face on the screen.” Bobby snickers as Jinhwan rolls his eyes. “Kaja guys, this bunny needs to call his quail,” as Jinhwan gestures them all to enter the elevator.


	3. Lovesick

Bobby half runs to the elevator as soon as they reach the hotel lobby. His mind is filled with Hanbin and only Hanbin at the moment. Sometimes he can’t believe that he agreed to do this tour without his soulmate. He cursed under his breath when he heard Jaeho explaining their current tour schedule and how it would separate him from Hanbin for a long period of time. Bobby is thankful that there are breaks in between the hectic tour dates, it means he gets to at least spend some quality time with Hanbin to recharge his mood. Spending time with Hanbin always gives Bobby an extra boost of energy, his infectious laughter and childlike curiosity are things that Bobby misses the most during these months long Japan tour with the boys. 

“Bob, don’t forget breakfast is at 7:30 tomorrow!” says Jinhwan half yelling as he and the guys are still huddling around the hotel entrance while Bobby is already standing in front of the waiting elevator.

“Okie Hyung! Night guys!” Bobby replies as the elevator door shuts halfway. 

Bobby taps his fingers on his thighs restlessly, his eyes are fixed on the elevator screen showing the floors its currently travelling at. 4..5..6..7..dings! The door finally opens to reveal the warm lighted hallway. Bobby steps out of the elevator with both hands carrying bags filled with snack and knick knacks from Don Quijote. He fumbles a bit in his wallet to find the keycard to the room, feeling a bit frustrated as he lets out a huge “Aish!” when his snacks are threatening to burst out of the plastic bag. 

Bobby taps the key card to the door, slides it into the electricity slot hastily. The lights and air conditioning system turn on immediately, revealing an empty room that feels just a bit out of place. He feels lonely all of a sudden. There used to be two pairs of shoes scattered at the entrance, and Hanbin nagging at him to put it away neatly. There's no more familiar sight of a pair of toothbrushes placed in a mug next to each other near the sink, and a blanket shared by both of them because Hanbin insists on keeping close to Bobby at all times because he loves Bobby’s warmth. Bobby is all alone tonight, with no one who nags, a lone toothbrush sits inside the mug, and no warmth to be shared under the blanket. 

Bobby is contemplating on whether he should take a shower first before calling Hanbin. The humid Tokyo summer night left him feeling a bit sweaty and sticky. He also remembers that he needs to wash his hair and put on a deep conditioner tonight as they need to curl and style it for the concert tomorrow. Bobby sighes and scratches his head, so much things to do when all he wants is to see his Hanbin and holds him tight. He chuckles under his breath, just now realizing that he’s been sighing a lot without Hanbin by his side. 

“I guess I’m that lovesick after all,” he smirks to himself. 

He opens up his backpack and sets his laptop on the bed. It quietly powers on and automatically connects to Skype as he had previously stayed in this hotel and has the wifi saved on his laptop. Bobby takes off his cap and sweaty shirt, folding it carelessly and toss it onto the sofa next to his bed. He decides to take a shower first so he can talk to Hanbin as much as he wants and will not be bothered with the task afterwards. Bobby texts Hanbin to let him know that he has reached the hotel and will be taking a 10 minutes shower before he calls him. Not long after Bobby hits send, the Skype app rings the familiar tune, an incoming call from none other but Hanbin. Bobby laughs as he reaches over the bed to answer the call. And there he is, his Hanbin, wearing the familiar smile he knows and loves. Bobby's expressions immediately softens as he sees his baby all curled up under the thick blanket all the way up to his chin, hair is a bit messy and face fresh from shower. 

“You make me want to jump into a plane right now just so I can hold you tight, Binnie,” Bobby chuckles softly. “You just can’t wait until I get out of the shower, can you?” he asks.

“Nope. No. I can’t wait. I don’t want to wait. I want you,” Hanbin pouts. 

“My pouty baby, get ready for all my kisses when I come back!” Jiwon teases Hanbin with a sly smile. “Wait for a bit, okay? I need to put this olaplex thingy on my hair or the hair stylist unnie will be on my ass tomorrow. It will only take 10 minutes tops, Bin.” 

“The only one who get to be on your ass is me, Babhyung. Take your laptop to the bathroom so you can still talk to me while you’re showering,” Hanbin whines while giving Bobby his puppy eyes. He knows Bobby can’t resist his puppy eyes. 

“Baby, you know the bathroom in this hotel is sma.._kiyowo_..small and cramped, there’s nowhere to put this laptop on…oh _kyeopta_..just be patient, kay Binnie? I’ll be done soon.” Bobby almost caves in to Hanbin’s request when he sees the pouty mouth and puppy eyes combo, but then he remembers it will take even longer for him to finish showering if he does. Bobby gives a flying kiss to Hanbin and enters the bathroom, ignoring Hanbin’s protest in the background. He strips down in lightning speed, almost trips himself in the process. He keeps the bathroom door open so Hanbin can hear the sound of him showering and not just leaving him with a view of an empty hotel room. 

Bobby is applying the deep conditioning treatment on his newly redyed hair when he hears a faint song playing from his laptop. _I can feel the blood rushing through my veins. When I hear your voice, driving me insane…. _Hanbin must’ve play it on the new wireless speaker Bobby bought him not too long ago. Hanbin has trouble sleeping lately because Bobby had been busy preparing for the tour and nowadays his schedule has become too hectic for him to come visit. Bobby suggested a white noise app played through the speaker to help him sleep and it helps somewhat, although Hanbin is adamant that Bobby’s warm hug is a totally irreplaceable sleeping aid.

“I’ll be done in a minute, Binnie!” Bobby shouts to Hanbin as he’s towelling himself to dry. He grabs a bathrobe from the hanger and puts it on sloppily. Bobby walks out of the steamy bathroom and sees a yawning Hanbin on the screen.

“Jiwonnie..I miss you..” says Hanbin as soon as he sees Bobby walk out the the bathroom. During their most private moments, Bobby is his Jiwonnie, as he is Bobby’s Binnie. Equal partners in love, two bestfriends turned to lovers. Everything fell into place when they realized the universe that they were looking for was in each other’s eyes.

“Binnie, are you sleepy? Do you want to sleep? Should we just talk tomorrow?” Bobby plops down on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position to lay in. He props two pillows under his head, and has the laptop sitting on his chest.

“Come on Jiwon, don’t be mean. I’ve waited all day to talk to you.” Hanbin sulks.

“As do I, baby.. It’s just that you look tired and sleepy, so I figured it’s better if you rest. Don’t sulk Bin, I have tons of snacks I bought for you at Donki, and new underwears too! Got you tons of Evangelion stuff, and a bunch of Bebop thingamajigs too! Aren’t you excited for it??” Bobby jokes and flashes Hanbin his crescent eye smile. 

Hanbin’s pout immediately turns into a huge smile. “Not fair, Jiwonnie! You’re so sly, you know I can’t resist your smile.” Hanbin’s dimple is forming on his left cheek as he stares at Bobby through the screen with the fondest look. 

Hanbin wastes no time to ask Bobby about his day, how was the flight and the food he ate earlier, Bobby tells him of wanting to take Hanbin to stay at the Godzilla room and the group of Pikachu go kart he saw earlier. Being able see each other through the screen is enough consolation for both of them, although they both wish there's some kind of technology out there so they can reach through the screen and feel each other's warmth.

“Where did you go earlier, Binnie? I was worried.” Bobby just now remembering to ask Hanbin his whereabouts earlier. 

“I went to Gimpo earlier. Remember we talked about how I want to build a house for us on my land? I want to take another look at the landscape of the land, so it flows nicely with whatever design we’ll decide on later. Jinani hyung also asked me to observe the land next to mine, apparently the owner is selling it and he’s interested in buying.”

“If Hanbinland merges with Jinhwanland, I’ll built you a zipline from our house to Jinani, that way we’ll get to annoy him at all times!” Bobby says excitedly. 

“As long as it’s a one way zipline, I’m fine with it. I don’t want Jinhwan hyung to interrupt our sexy times,” says Hanbin jokingly, wiggling his eyebrows at Bobby.  
“If you’re building us a house, then I’ll build us our private studio next to the house. I’ll have it equipped with the state of the art recording system, and the most expensive sound system available. Who needs a recording label when you have Bobb.i in the house!” Bobby continues rambling as sleep approaches. 

“That’s right! It’ll be the birth of Bobbi Entertainment! We’ll be unstoppable!” Hanbin laughs as he’s making a mental note to include this on his list of goals. “I figured I’ll explore the area since I was already there, and I ended up enjoying a peaceful walk at the Munsusan Forest Bath. It was really pleasant, I managed to clear my mind a lot. But it still doesn’t help me from missing you like crazy, Jiwon.” 

“Me too, Bin. Everything I see or hear reminds me of you. I can’t wait for you to join us again soon. It’ll not be the same without you on stage. I don’t know how I’ll manage tomorrow.”

“You can do it, Jiwonnie. I believe in you. Kill the stage, baby! I’ll be lurking at your fansites’ fancams, can’t wait to see my sexy Jiwonnie spits fire.” Hanbin beams at Bobby proudly.

“I’ll try, Binnie. Just know that I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow too, probably more than I do today if that is even possible.” Bobby laughs bitterly. “I just know that Chanu, Donghyukkie, June, and Yunhyeongie, will do a great job filling in your place. As for Jinani and I, we’ll do our best to make you proud.” 

Hanbin stares at the face he loves the most, with his crooked bunny tooth that Hanbin adores and those warm gentle eyes that often disappear when the owner smiles. Hanbin has seen Bobby through all of his emotions, good and bad, happy and sad. Yet, this is the first time Hanbin sees a small fire burning through the sad and tired eyes, a quiet determination that is way different from what he saw during those tough years they had to go through along with the boys.

“All of you already are..making me proud. Jinani hyung and Yunhyeong hyung know how much I’m thankful for them for filling in my role. As for you, Jiwonnie, you’re the person I like the most, no conditions or reasons needed. I just love you for you, you’re making me proud by being you.” Hanbin says it softly. He holds his pillow tight under his blanket, wishing it’s Bobby he’s hugging instead.

“Binnie..the song you told me to listen to earlier, I really like it. I think my hyung used to own their CD? I feel like the lyrics portrays my feelings about you, about us, about this shitty situation. _We live our lives on different sides, but we keep together you and I..”_ Bobby sings part of the songs for Hanbin. His voice is progressively getting huskier as his eyelids are getting heavier but he doesn’t want to say goodnight to Hanbin just yet.

_“Tease me, by holding out your hand. Then leave me, or take me as I am..” _Hanbin sings back to him.

_“If I give up on you I give up on me. If we fight what’s true, will we ever be? Even God himself and the faith I knew, shouldn’t hold me back, shouldn’t keep me from you…”_ Bobby sings as he stares at Hanbin. “I miss you Binnie, I wanna hug and kiss you so bad.” Bobby is surprised at how mellow he gets, he never thought he’ll miss Hanbin this much. 

“Jiwon, promise me you’ll do that when we meet?”

“I promise, baby. I love you.” Bobby murmurs as he finally surrenders to sleep unwillingly. 

“I love you too, my Jiwonnie. Sleep tight, dream of me.”

Hanbin stares at Bobby’s sleeping face and his love grows a bit more each time (if that is even possible). He kisses his laptop screen as he wishes Bobby to feel it. Hanbin is carefully angling his laptop on the side table so that the camera still faces him as he sleeps. He’s not going to end the call tonight, it’ll be just like sleeping next to each other as they’re both still connected virtually through this app. Hanbin takes one last look at sleeping Bobby who now is starting to mumble incoherently in his sleep. Hanbin closes his eyes while holding on to his pillow tightly once again as he whispers, “I miss you, Jiwonnie.”


	4. no matter what (1)

Hanbin paces around in his bedroom, he’s restless after skimming through dozens of fancams from the latest Japan tour. It’s his way of monitoring the members, and at the same time consoling himself from missing iKONICs. He really misses performing with his brothers, as well as their playful banters in and out of stage. But most of all, he misses Bobby. It’s not the longest time that they have to be apart, but this time hits harder because he knows Bobby is having a hard time coping. Bobby, a carefree person that he is, portrays a nonchalant image to the public for the most part. But deep down inside, and during their private moments, Hanbin knows Bobby is having a tough time going through this forced separation too. Bobby has always been his rock, his constant source of strength. But even the toughest person sometimes breaks under too much pressure.

-

Bobby had texted Hanbin a few minutes before going up on stage,

_Wish us luck Binnie. I love you, I miss you. So. Fuckin. Much. _

Hanbin replied as soon as soon as he read the text.

_You show ‘em who’s King of The Youth, Babhyung! King on stage, my princess in bed ^-^ I love you! _

Hanbin sent a selfie of himself posing with Bobby’s pooh that is currently residing in his bedroom.

Hanbin never forgets to send the rest of the members individual texts before they have to perform. The longest message filled with words of encouragement has always been for Donghyuk, while the shortest one goes to June. He and June share a deep understanding towards each other that most of the times they know what each other is thinking without having to say things out loud. Hanbin dared Yunhyeong to show his abs on stage, and he reminded Chanwoo to give his all and to jump around freely on stage. Last but not least, Hanbin asked Jinhwan to take care of Bobby while he’s not around, along with his gratitude and love for Jinhwan’s existence in his life.

_I don’t know if I can do this any longer Bin. _ Bobby replied shortly after. 

Bobby’s message took him by surprise. Hanbin stared at it for a while before realizing that he needed to reply quickly before Bobby had to go on stage.

_Jiwon, you can do it. Do it for our team, do it for me. I believe in you, baby. _

Hanbin’s fingers were trembling a bit when he hit send. One, two, three, four minutes had passed and there was no reply. Hanbin sighed, they must have started the concert already. He sent another short text to Bobby,

_I love you no matter what Jiwonnie._

-

Hanbin grabs Bobby’s hoodie from his bed; he was wearing it to sleep last night, and runs out the door. He slips on the hoodie as he enters the elevator, inhaling Bobby’s scent and smiles a little. He has a rough idea on what to do to cheer Bobby up when he returns home from Japan. Hanbin takes out his phone to search on what ingredients to buy for this recipe he’s going to make for Bobby. A short stroll outside his family’s condo, and he reaches the minimarket owned by a really nice lady. He walks up and down the aisle swiftly, grabbing each ingredients as he goes. Satisfied that he got everything in the basket, Hanbin walks to the cashier and greets the halmeoni cheerfully. They’ve known each other since Hanbin was little, and she loves him as if he’s her own grandchild. 

“Look at you, Hanbinah! Aigoo, you look much healthier than when I saw you last time. You’re cooking nowadays? Or did your eomma ask you to buy ingredients for dinner?” She smiles as she’s ringing up Hanbin’s purchase.

“Thank you halmeoni, I’ve been eating well and sleeping well now that I’m home. I’m actually going to cook for someone.” Hanbin grins.

“Ah you’re cooking for a girl is it? They say the best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. What are you planning to make?”

“Aniyo, halmeoni. It’s for a special friend of mine, not a girl. He’s feeling under the weather, so I kinda want to cheer him up. I want to cook him homemade pizza, it’s one of his favorites.” Hanbin takes out his card to pay. 

“Ah, pizza is it? Well I’ve never made one before so I can’t give you any pointers. But here’s what I know, when a food is made with love, the person you make it for will be able to feel that. I hope your pizza will cheer him up, Hanbinah.” 

“I sure hope so, halmeoni!” Hanbin bows and say his goodbye. His steps are a bit springier now that he had that brief conversation with the minimarket halmeoni. With two bags full of cooking ingredients in tow, he makes his way back home with a firm resolution to welcome Bobby back home with more than just a homemade food, he’s going to make sure Bobby smiles the smile he loves the most. 

Hanbin checks his phone once he’s done putting things inside the fridge and pantry. The concert must be done already but there’s still no reply from Bobby. All the new messages are from Donghyuk, Yunhyeong, and Chanwoo. Donghyuk sent him a cheerful message relaying everything that had happened during the concert. Yunhyeong told him he promised to show his abs for the concert next month, along with a sad selfie of him going to the hotel gym. Chanwoo sent him a sticker of a grinning puppy with a _Job well done!_ caption along with _I miss you, hyung!_ Hanbin just finished replying when he receives a message from Jinhwan. 

_Bob’s not okay. I’ve tried Bin-ah, but he’s been in a bad mood ever since he finished his solo stage._

Jinhwan sends a candid picture of Bobby slumped on the sofa with one arm covering his eyes. Hanbin can see the cute braids on Bobby’s head, just like the previews from Bobby’s fansites he had seen earlier. Bobby smiled his cute smiles on all these previews, but Hanbin saw through it right away, those smiles didn’t quite reach his eyes. Hanbin frowns seeing those images, his heart hurts seeing Bobby like this. He knows that Bobby will try to play it off cooly later, pretending like it’s no big deal because he doesn’t want Hanbin to worry even more than he should. 

_Please keep him company tonight, hyung. You guys are coming back tomorrow morning, right? Can you make sure he comes to my place? I got things planned._ Hanbin replies to Jinhwan in a hurry.

_Will do, Bin-ah. I’ll make sure Bob goes straight to your place as soon as we landed in Korea. Be strong, both of you. I’ll see you soon, Bin-ah. I miss you._

_Hyung, thank you. I love you and miss you guys. I’ll see you guys soon. _

Hanbin closes the messaging app after he’s done replying. Still no message from Bobby. 

Hanbin grabs a can of cola from the kitchen fridge and walks to the makeshift studio next to his bedroom. It used to be the guest bedroom, but Hanbin’s mom converted it into a mini studio as a surprise around a month ago. The equipments are pretty bare bone, but Hanbin doesn’t need fancy stuff to create good music. Give him pots and pans and a pair of chopsticks and he’ll still be able to churn out exceptional songs. He’s actually been thinking of renting a private studio space to share with Bobby nearby, but he’ll wait for now. He doesn’t want to attract unwanted attention since such information can leak to the media and may be used against them. 

Hanbin sits on the creaky office chair, punches in the password for the computer, and is greeted with a picture of ethereal looking Bobby looking at the camera during the latest Seoul concert. He made a joke to Bobby when he first saw the photo, “I’m gonna have it framed and have it put on my bedside table, Babhyung.” Much to Hanbin’s delight, Bobby answered cheekily, “Why do you need a framed picture when you can have the real one you can touch and kiss all you want on your bed?”

“I miss you a little bit too much lately, Jiwonnie.” Hanbin mumbles to himself. He takes a sip of the cola, stretches his body a little, and starts working on this melody that’s been stuck on his mind for a while. An upbeat melody layered with minor chord progression, creating a sense of melancholy in between all the cheerful tunes; a perfect representation for his Jiwonnie. His longing for Bobby keeps him inspired and busy, and Hanbin’s thankful for it. It makes the days go by so fast, composing and working on music while he’s waiting for Bobby to come home to him. 

Hours went by, Hanbin can hear noises from outside the room. He rubs his eyes and checks his phone. Still no new message from Bobby. Hanbin saves his work and heads out the room to find his mom and Hanbyul busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. He says hi to both of them and kisses Hanbyul on the cheeks, before heading to the balcony to catch the golden hour. As soon as he slides the glass door leading to the outside world, tons of memories with Bobby floods his mind. The orange glow warms his face and body, thawing his ice cold fingers for having been sitting inside the air conditioned studio way too long. He leans both his arms on the railing, enjoying the warm sunlight. The wind is blowing quite heavily, caressing his face and ruffling his hair. He zips up the purple hoodie all the way to the top, and pulls on the hood to stop his hair from going all over the place. Hanbin inhales Bobby’s scent as he revels in the moment. He really misses enjoying this serene view with Bobby, how the rich red hues illuminates the calm Han River on the horizon. In his memories they were kissing under the crimson light, with Bobby hugging him tight as they ease their day into the night. The sweet memories of their first kiss. Hanbin takes a picture of the majestic view and sends it to Bobby. 

“Hanbinah, dinner is ready!,” Hanbin’s mom wakes him up from his thoughts. She steps outside to the balcony and wraps her arms around Hanbin’s waist and hugs him tight. 

“Okay mom, I’ll be there in a second.” He smiles to his mom as she’s patting his head. She returns inside afterwards to help Hanbyul set the table for the four of them. His dad is already seated at the dinner table, sipping on the delicious citron tea Hanbyul made. Hanbin was about to walk inside when he feels his phone vibrates, a message from Bobby. 

The message simply reads, _I want to come home._

_Hurry up and come home to me, Jiwonnie. I’ll always be here waiting. _

Hanbin wastes no time to text Jinhwan, _Jinani, is Babhyung with you?_

Jinhwan answers a mere minute later, _Me and June asked him to join us for dinner, but he said that Jaeho hyung already bought him sandwich from the konbini. Bob said he wanted to sleep, Bin. You don’t have to worry though, it looks like Bob is indeed really sleepy, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. I’ll check on him later when I get back from dinner, okay Bin? Speaking of, have you eaten dinner yourself?_

_Yeah hyung, I’m about to eat dinner with the family. Okay, thanks hyung. Say hi to June for me, you guys’ banter on stage were perfect today!_

_June says hi back. Yeah boy, come back soon on stage and do ments with me! Lol, that was June, Bin. I’ll text you a bit later when I’m back at the hotel okay? _

_Okay._ Hanbin sends his reply along with pouting ducky sticker. 

Hanbin waits for a bit to gather his thoughts before he sends another text, this time to Bobby.

_Baby, can I see you? Can I call you in half an hour?_

_K, Binnie. I’ll wait for your call._

Relieved that Bobby didn’t reject his request, Hanbin finally joins his family for dinner, saying sorry for making them wait. He jokes around with Hanbyul, one of his favorite parts of being home. His mom keep nagging him to add some more food to his plate. His dad tells him that he has arranged diffusers to be installed in the home studio in the upcoming week. Hanbin is really grateful for his family’s love and support, they are his shelter for every rainstorm he has to endure. 

Hanbin finishes his dinner and excuses himself from the dinner table. He goes into his bedroom and locks the door. He dials the number on the very top of his call list, one beep, two beep goes by, and by the seventh beep, the face he loves so much pops up. Bloodshot and puffy eyes, just like what Jinhwan had warned him earlier. 

“Baby..” Hanbin calls out to Bobby softly.

Bobby just stares at him, head is on the pillow, half of his face illuminated from the bedside lamp. Other than that the hotel room is dead silent and pitch black. 

“Jiwonnie, are you getting ready for bed? Sorry you had to wait for me. I just wanna see your face before you go to bed..” Hanbin’s soft gaze is resting on Bobby’s eyes. He wanted to ask if Bobby had been crying earlier, but he stops himself from doing that. He knows Bobby will not answer it truthfully on the phone.

Bobby rubs his eyes and changes his position to lay on his side so his whole face can be seen clearly under the warm light from the bedside lamp. He smiles to Hanbin lazily, showing his cute dimples that Hanbin loves to kiss. 

“There’s my bunny.” Hanbin smiles. “Jiwonnie, have you eaten?” Hanbin figures he’ll just pretend that nothing’s wrong, for now. 

“I had an egg sandwich and spicy chicken from Family Mart earlier. Baby, I’m sorry, I miss you so much, but I’m really sleepy..” Bobby’s voice is cracking and it makes Hanbin’s heart clenches a little.

“Okay, Jiwonnie. Sleep tight, let’s meet in our dreams. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Good night Binnie, see you in my dream. I can’t wait to sleep in your arms. I love you.” Bobby blows him a kiss and ends the call. It’s rather unnatural for him to do so, he’s usually really hesitant to end the call. Hanbin doesn’t want to dwell on it too much for now, if anything he’s more determined to make sure his plans for Bobby tomorrow will work perfectly. Hanbin knows he’ll get the chance to have a heart to heart talk with Bobby and will be able to comfort him in person in mere hours. 

Hanbin takes his laptop from the desk table by his window, and starts looking for a movie as part of his plan for tomorrow. He finds the perfect one and and clicks on the download link. While he waits for it to finish downloading, he comes across a term “Kintsugi” on some random website. Eager to learn more about it, he clicks on various links that explain this traditional Japanese art. The more he reads about it, the more he’s fascinated by the idea that broken objects can be mended so beautifully. That each shatter and irregular pattern brings forth a special story to the object itself, making it more precious with its imperfection. 

Hanbin thinks back on all the things he had to go through, the current situation that he has to deal with. The waves of doubt and uncertainties often cloud his mind, and oftentimes he needs to be alone to think about things, making Bobby and the rest of the members worry. But after all these rainstorms, his determination has never once wavered. His dreams along with his six brothers, are something that he won’t let go that easily. Their bond acts as a lacquer, their love for each other acts as the precious metal, joining each broken pieces and refining each negative experiences to help all of them becomes an even better person. Hanbin copies the article link to his phone and sends it to the group chat room, along with a caption, _I love you guys, we can get through this._

Once the movie finished downloading, Hanbin closes his laptop and heads out to the kitchen. His family are watching a gameshow in the living room, he hears Hanbyul cheerful laugh over a joke the host just made. Hanbin takes out his phone to read the instruction to the homemade pizza recipe. He was making a ruckus in the kitchen trying to find measuring cups that his mom comes over to help.

“What are you making, Hanbinah? Pizza? For Bobby? Aigoo, you should have told me earlier, I can help you get fresh mozzarella instead of this packaged one, it’ll make the pizza tastes even better. Okay arasseo, I’ll leave you alone. I’m sure Bobby will appreciate your effort, Hanbinah.” Hanbin’s mom grins and pinches her son’s cheeks, before leaving him to make the pizza by himself. 

This is Hanbin’s first attempt in cooking, and he picks a quite difficult dish to replicate. “Anything for Jiwonnie,” he thought as he’s trying to convince himself that he can do this. He’s planning to at least practice once before he'll attempt the real one tomorrow. And so, Hanbin spent almost 2 hours in the kitchen before he successfully puts the pizza in the oven. He’s all covered in flour and sweat when his mom comes back to check on his progress and gives him her thumbs up. 

“Listen Hanbinah, mom and dad and Hanbyul are going to visit Aunty Min in Jeju tomorrow. Do you want to come with us? We’ll just be staying for one night, Hanbyul will be missing a day of school but I already asked for the school’s permission, Aunty really wants to see Hanbyul. We’re leaving early morning tomorrow. If you want we can still book the plane ticket,” Hanbin’s mom asks as she’s helping Hanbin cleans the kitchen counter and wraps the leftover risen dough to store in the fridge.

“I’d love too but I promised to see Bobby tomorrow, mom. Send my love to Aunty, tell her I’ll visit her soon. I miss her jeju momguk.” Hanbin is standing in front of the oven, crossing his arms. He can’t wait to see the final result. 

“Okay, son. Give Bobby the warmest hug from me!” Hanbin’s mom kisses both his cheeks goodnight, and Hanbin is fake flinching as always. “Goodnight mom.” 

Ding! The pizza is finally done baking. Hanbin’s salivating as he opens the oven door, the delicious pizza smell is filling the kitchen and making his stomach growl. He cuts a slice and bites into the piece where the cheese is overflowing. He smiles as he chews. He’s sure this will cheer Bobby up tomorrow. He wraps the rest of the pizza in aluminium foil, and sticks a note on it, “take this to Jeju” along with a heart doodle. 

Hanbin turns off the kitchen lamp right as the clock is showing 2 AM. He takes a quick shower to wash off the grime and heads straight to his bed. It’s less than 12 hours until he gets to see Bobby again, to kiss him and hug him and feel safe in his arms. Hanbin closes his eyes and drifts into slumber as the sight of Bobby’s smile greets him in his dream.


	5. no matter what (2)

_“Binnie, take care of Pooh while I’m gone. Make sure to hug him when you miss me. I’ll be back soon,” Bobby kissed Hanbin’s cheeks and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. They were lounging on the bed in Hanbin’s room, Hanbin’s head laying on Bobby’s shoulder, his arms hugging Bobby’s waist tight. He nuzzled into Bobby’s chest like a spoiled child, whining playfully as Bobby kissed on top of his head and rested his lips on Hanbin’s forehead. Their legs were intertwining underneath the thick blanket, Hanbin’s right leg sandwiched in between Bobby’s, while his left was wrapped on top of Bobby’s upper thigh._

_“Babhyung..babhyung…,” Hanbin’s face pressed into Bobby’s chest as he playfully whimpered. Bobby was rubbing on Hanbin’s back, cooing onto Hanbin’s ears, “Hmm…My baby Binnie, what’s wrong..?” _

_“I don’t want to be apart..When will you be back? I hate having to miss you..Not being able to hug and kiss you.. I hate missing your face when I wake up, I hate not being able to kiss you good night,” Hanbin nagged while playing with Bobby’s fingers, he laced their fingers together and kissed each of Bobby’s fingers tenderly. He looked up to gaze at Bobby’s eyes, who’s looking at him with an indescribable expression. Not being able to discern Bobby’s thoughts, Hanbin frowned and pouted a little, “Jiwonnie, what are you thi..?” His questions were suddenly swallowed with a rough kiss from Bobby. Hanbin could feel Bobby’s left hand on the small of his back and gently pulling him even tighter into the hug, while his right hand was caressing Hanbin’s neck tenderly. They kissed passionately, as their bodies molded perfectly in each other’s embrace. _

_Hanbin’s hands was desperately searching for Bobby’s, to interlock their fingers and find assurance in Bobby’s firm grip. “Give me your hands, Jiwonnie..” Hanbin whispered once they broke the kiss. Hanbin moved on top of Bobby, his body was pressing on Bobby’s hard abs. His hands found Bobby’s and pinned it next to Bobby’s head. With fingers intertwined, they gazed at each other’s eyes as Hanbin did a slow grind on top of Bobby’s hips. _

_“I’ll be back soon, baby,” Bobby murmured softly in Hanbin’s ears as Hanbin was kissing down his neck._

_“Take my heart with you. I love you, Jiwon.” Hanbin proceeded to suck on Bobby’s collarbone, possesively marking what’s his._

_“I love you Hanbin..I’m yours, always.” Bobby whispered before he started to moan softly under Hanbin’s familiar touch._

-

Hanbin wakes up groggily this morning. He had a really nice dream but he couldn’t remember what it was. He moves lazily on the bed, stretches his arms and legs and groans a little. Hanbin loves sleep as much as Bobby does; that’s why they are the perfect match because they love to just lay around in bed doing nothing all day whenever their schedules permit. He unplugs his phone from the charging cable, and squints a little to check the time. The digital clock is showing 8:30 AM, It’s still too early for him to start his day. He figures he can sleep for another hour so he squirms under the blanket to find a more comfortable position and hugs pooh tightly. Pooh’s one good arm is dangling on top of his, while the other arm is held in between his fingers, just like how Bobby used to hold it. He was about to drift into sleep when he’s suddenly remembering his plan for today. He still needs to prepare the pizza and put on some finishing touches to the song he made yesterday. 

Hanbin gets up from bed with a smile. He’s so elated that he finally gets to see Bobby. As always, he starts his day with simple stretching exercises as he’s scrolling through the new notifications on his phone. A message was sent by Jaeho Hyung around an hour ago, informing Hanbin of their time of arrival. He will personally drive Bobby to Hanbin’s house discreetly, despite breaking rules from the upper management. Jaeho has always been the boys’ confidant, alongside with several of the staffs who treats them as if they’re their own little brothers. They have been really helpful in facilitating several private meet ups between the boys, especially when media was following and scrutinizing their every move.

A new notification pops up on top of the screen, a message from Bobby that reads, 

_Just woke up. Did you have a good dream? I can’t remember mine but I know for sure you were in it. Will be leaving for the airport in half an hour. I’ll see you soon Binnie._

Hanbin replies with tons of heart emojis,_I can’t remember mine either, but I also know you’re in it. Safe flight, Jiwonnie. Can’t wait to hug and kiss you. Pooh misses your hugs too, but your kisses are mine only. _

Bobby’s reply is short yet sweet, _Forever yours, baby. _

Hanbin sends him a sticker of a bunny kissing a baby chick, with a cheeky reply, _We’re meant to be, even the animal kingdom thinks so. Text me when you land, k?_

_Will do babe. Okie, gotta get ready. ILU._

_Saranghae, Jiwonnie. _

Hanbin walks out to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of cold water. He notices the pizza he made last night is gone from the counter, his family must have left for Jeju already. He takes out the pizza dough he prepared yesterday from the fridge, and left it on the counter to warm up while he’s getting ready. Hanbin rummages through his closet and finds the bright yellow Brazil hoodie he received from Bobby a while back. He knows how much Bobby loves him in any yellow outfit because it reminds him of this cartoon character he adores growing up named JellyPi, or at least that’s what Hanbin thinks. Little did Hanbin know, Bobby just simply thinks Hanbin looks extra cute in yellow because yellow complements the purple color Bobby loves and wears often. Bobby likes the idea that even though both colors are opposites, they manage to complete and perfect each other; similar to the dynamics of their relationship.

Hanbin tosses the yellow hoodie on the bed to wear later, along with a faded sweatpants he and Bobby often shares. Hanbin makes the bed and tucks Pooh safely under the blanket, and goes to shower. Chill RnB music is playing from Hanbin’s phone as he’s getting ready. He hums along the songs from the Spotify playlist he shares with Bobby. Hanbin looks extra dashing, with a bright purple towel hanging low from his hips and face still glistens with moisture from the shower. Angry muscles are starting to show on the lower abs v-line as a result of working out five times a week. He sends a mirror selfie to Bobby with a sly smile, completed it with a teasing emoji. 

Satisfied that at least he got his hair to look decent after combing through the tangles, Hanbin puts on his clothes and heads to the kitchen. It’ll only take him 10 minutes to prepare the pizza this time as the dough had been made yesterday. He finishes rolling out the dough and putting on the toppings, and leaves the uncooked pizza on the counter for now. He wants it to be hot and freshly baked for Bobby later. He drums his fingers on the kitchen counter, wondering what else he needs to do. The time on the kitchen clock is showing 10:15 AM, there’s still another hour to go before the plane lands. He remembers that he needs to finish the song he made for Bobby, so he pours himself a bowl of Lucky Charms and brings it to the studio to start working on the finishing touches. 

The song he’s working on is blasting through the speaker. Hanbin nods along the rhythm as his fingers are fidgeting with a piece of scribbled out note. He starts tearing the paper containing crossed out lyrics full of Jiwon’s name written over and over. Throughout the years of writing poetic lyrics, Hanbin has learned the art of subtlety and anonymity in his songs’ references. He mentioned who his muse was once on a tv show, and he had gotten a scolding from Bobby for being too careless. Even though both are excellent lyricist who works exceptionally well together, Bobby had always been much more cautious than Hanbin in keeping their relationship a secret. Although lately, Bobby has had it with subtlety and kept on throwing hints left and right. He said to Hanbin one night while they were laying together in bed watching reruns of Rick and Morty, 

_“I’m tired of pretending. I really wanna say it out loud that you’re mine, Bin.” Bobby snuggled closer to Hanbin, he’s behaving like a petulant child with adorable pouting lips while fake hitting Hanbin’s chest._

_“You know I’ll be happy if you do, Babhyung.” Hanbin gave him the sweetest smile. He grabbed hold of Bobby’s arms and kissed him tenderly. _

_“But you know we can’t, Bin,” Bobby returned the kiss and rested his head on Hanbin’s chest. _

_“Maybe someday we will be able to,” Hanbin stroked Bobby’s hair, “Don’t lose hope, Jiwonnie. Til’ then, I’m yours forever and always.” _

The song fades away softly in the background as Hanbin writes additional lyrics on the torn out notes. He loves conveying his feelings in metaphors, but it will never come close to the way he truly feels about Bobby. The way their feelings work toward each other is like water and fire. Bobby is like water, calm and collected as his feelings run deep. His raw nature is like a tsunami personified, his love like a huge tidal wave. It consumes and reshapes its path, leaving no room to breath as it floods every corner of Hanbin’s heart. Whereas Hanbin is like fire, he destroys each and everything in its path, leaving behind irreversible destruction. There’s no turning back from loving Hanbin, as Bobby had tried to in the past but failed miserably. Bobby is forever caught in an unquenchable thirst from the deep burning love that Hanbin has given tenaciously. Both are opposite in nature, but they balance each other out in ways that no other can. 

Hanbin records the new lyrics and makes some adjustments here and there. He’s finally satisfied with the end result and saves it on a USB. He checks on his phone and is surprised to see that he misses the text from Bobby saying he already landed 15 minutes ago. Hanbin hurries to the kitchen to start preparing the pizza, almost tripping himself on the dining chair. While he waits for the oven to heat up, he replies back to Bobby with a smiling emoji. He scrolls through Bobby’s fansites photos, smiling to himself as he sees Bobby receiving tons of gifts from fans. Hanbin spots several cans of green Pringles in the mountain of gifts, his favorite. He’s sure Bobby will share that with him later. 

The oven dings when it finally reaches the right temperature. Hanbin slides the pizza into the oven clumsily, then sets a 15 minutes timer on his phone. He’s about to clean up the mess he made on the kitchen counter when he hears the doorbell buzzes, a familiar husky voice is heard through the intercom, “Bin, I’m here.”

Hanbin stops whatever he was doing, and runs to the door. He opens the door hastily and sees his love standing in front of him with tired eyes and a lazy smile. Hanbin pulls him inside swiftly and slams the door shut. Hanbin wastes no time and envelops Bobby in the tightest hug he can muster. His lips searching for Bobby’s and find it all warm yet rough from the dry cabin air. Hanbin gently licks on the cracked lips, eliciting a soft grunting noise from Bobby. Bobby winces a little as his chapped lips are thoroughly soothe by Hanbin’s soft licks. Hanbin gazes at Bobby’s eyes, the twinkles are not lost despite the heavy bags underneath. All worn out from the exhausting schedules and lack of sleep, Bobby leans his head onto Hanbin’s shoulder. 

Bobby whispers to Hanbin’s ears, “I’m home, Binnie.” He finally feels whole in Hanbin’s arms. 

“Welcome home, Jiwonnie,” whispers Hanbin back as he’s kissing Bobby’s cheeks softly. 

Hanbin takes Bobby’s hand, and guides him into the living room. He sits Bobby down on a plush chair and pecks his forehead. “Wait here, baby. I have a surprise.” Hanbin leaves a confused looking Bobby and goes to the kitchen to check on the pizza. He bends over to peek into the oven’s window, satisfied to see the cheese bubbling inside the hot oven and the dough has turned golden brown and crispy. All of a sudden, Hanbin feels two strong arms hugging him from behind and a pair of lips kissing his neck tenderly. 

“I promised to hug and kiss you when I return, didn’t I?” Bobby buries his face on Hanbin’s back, his warm breath tickles the back of Hanbin’s neck. 

Hanbin leans his head backwards to rest on Bobby’s shoulder, his hands holding Bobby’s arms tight, as if he’s signalling Bobby to hold him tighter. Bobby is kissing on Hanbin’s neck, leaving traces of hot peppered kisses from the nape to the jawline, making Hanbin breathless as he’s stifling a moan. Bobby moves expertly to find Hanbin’s plump lips, massaging Hanbin’s lips between his, before requesting to gain an entrance with his tongue. Their tongues are dancing in their own rhythm, as they find reassurance and love through each shared breaths. Hanbin’s hand slides to the back of Bobby’s head, drawing Bobby closer and closer, wishing their kisses won’t ever stop. 

Their lips part reluctantly when the timer on Hanbin’s phone rings. Both eyes are still glistening with lust, Hanbin turns around to look at Bobby square in the eye. Hanbin’s still trying to catch on his breath, and he can’t resist to give another peck on Bobby’s slightly swollen lips. Bobby caresses Hanbin’s cheeks with his thumb, tracing on Hanbin’s dimple as he closes his eyes and leans into Bobby’s warm hands. He opens his eyes slowly when his breath finally slows down and sees the face he loves looking back at him with a smile.

“There’s my Jiwon,” Hanbin hugs him before finally letting go. Hanbin takes out the pizza from the oven carefully, much to Bobby’s delight. “I prepared you a bunch of surprises today, Babhyung. First stop, pizza!” 

*

“This is really good Bin! You made this yourself? From scratch??” Bobby has his mouth stuffed with the pizza, chewing so excitedly despite his fatigue. They both are seated on the dining table, side by side with legs touching under the glass table.

Hanbin nods bashfully. After all these years, every compliment from Bobby no matter how small and silly always makes his heart swells with pride. “I did it all for you. I’m glad you like it.”

“Are you kidding? I more than like it, I love it! This is even better than the pizza from the place I usually order!” For a moment, Bobby forgets every frustration he’s been holding inside. All the negative emotions dissipate the moment he came into Hanbin’s arms. He knows how the mere sight of Hanbin relaxes his heart. That’s why often times Bobby just let things go and won’t bother talking about his feelings to Hanbin. 

Hanbin pushes Bobby’s unruly hair out of his face gently, and continues eating alongside Bobby. They are catching up on the days they had to be apart. Hanbin is whining and demanding a response to the bathroom selfie he sent earlier, in which Bobby responds with a sulky face, 

“I was surrounded by fans when I opened that selfie of yours, I had to restrain myself from lusting over your sexy body, you know? You’ll pay for that later, Kim Hanbin.” 

Hanbin grins and answers smugly, “I’m all yours tonight, Baby. We have the whole house to ourselves,” as he playfully jabs on Bobby’s ribs.

Bobby almost chokes on his last piece of pizza hearing that reply. Hanbin pats on Bobby’s back as he laughs before running to the sink to get him a nice glass of cold water. Hanbin takes this opportunity to ask Bobby what’s wrong with him yesterday. He sits on Bobby’s laps, and as always Bobby’s arms instinctively wrap around Hanbin’s waist. Hanbin drapes both of his arms around Bobby’s neck and asks him softly, 

“Are you feeling okay, Jiwonnie?” Hanbin’s gaze boring into Bobby, he’s trying to look past the facade and the emotional barricade Bobby is showing. 

Overwhelmed with emotion, Bobby tries to break the eye contact, only to have Hanbin holding his face between his hands, “Please Jiwonnie, talk to me?”

Bobby grabs hold of Hanbin’s left wrist and plants a kiss on the palm. “I’m just…frustrated, Bin. I miss you. Not having you around..is hard. Everything reminds me of you, from the airport to the stage to the hotel. I can’t talk about you, when all I wanna do is shout to the world how much I care for you. Baby, I’m sorry..for not being strong for you. I’m weak. I’m..” Bobby bites his bottom lip, trying to stop the tears from coming. The wave of emotions are crashing down, and he feels bad for it because Hanbin has had it worse. 

“No, no, Jiwonnie, you’ve done nothing wrong,” Hanbin shaking his head as he presses his forehead onto Bobby’s. “I don’t ever want to see you lose your smile. We can get through this together, right? As long as we have each other, we’ll be alright, Jiwon.” Hanbin caresses the back of Bobby’s head as Hanbin leans in to kiss him gently on the lips. “You know how glad I am to have you, it’ll never change no matter what happens.”

“I hate that we’ll be apart for your birthday, Bin! We’ve been spending it together since we first met.. It’s..I..I don’t know anymore..I’m tired, Binnie..” A single tear finally rolls down Bobby’s cheek, followed by dozens just like a broken dam. 

Hanbin once said that Bobby’s smile has saved him lots of times, but not a lot of people know that Bobby’s tears are the tsunami that breaks Hanbin’s tough exterior. He weeps alongside Bobby, hands trembling as he tries to wipe the tears from Bobby’s face. 

“I promise better days, Jiwonnie..Good days are always sure to come. We might have to be apart on my birthday, but our hearts remain together always, right?”

“Yeah, baby. No matter what. I love you Kim Hanbin, I love you so much.” 

Their bodies are glued together as they kiss and desperately clings onto one another. Hands are roaming freely to every nooks and cranies of their well toned bodies. 

“This is the first time that kissing you tasted so salty, Jiwonnie.” They gaze at each other intently after breaking the kiss. Air is still warm with affection, they don’t want to come down from the high. 

“We look a mess, Binnie.” Messy hairs with dried snots and tear stained cheeks, they indeed look very disheveled. Realizing how silly they must look if anyone decides to barge into the room, they starts laughing as if on cue. 

“Let’s shower together, Jiwonnie? Let the water wash away these tears so that we’ll be happy once again.”

*

“Pizza for brunch was a good idea, Binnie. I’m stuffed and sleepy. Let’s go take a nap, babe?” Bobby yawns and stretches his arms. Freshly showered and comfy in Hanbin’s soft pajamas, Bobby curls up in Hanbin’s bed with Pooh as Hanbin digs through the snack pile from Don Quijote. He beams at the sight of Evangelion snack Bobby had bought him, in which Bobby earns a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the butt. Hanbin takes out the collection of assorted Pringles Bobby had received at the airport, opens the green one, and feeds Bobby several pieces before popping some into his own mouth.

“I’m really surprised that iKONICs remember how much you and I love this. Woah, look at this huge can, is this Japan exclusive?” Hanbin keeps on babbling as Bobby stares at him lovingly. He feels his heart flutters, his love multiplies in ways he wasn’t even sure possible. Bobby focuses his eyes on Hanbin’s lips, on how soft it looks, and how he wants to kiss it forever. He shifts his eyes to observe Hanbin’s nose, remembering how it often collides into his when they’re in the heat of romantic lust. And lastly, Bobby notices how pretty Hanbin’s eyes are. Wondering what draws him into those deep brown eyes. Recalling countless time he gets lost in it, how its gaze pierces his soul and clings onto the deepest recesses of his heart. 

Hanbin notices Bobby is staring at him so intently and blushes, “What is it, Jiwonnie?.. Is there something on my face?” he touches his face with a puzzled look on his face.

“Yeah, there’s something. Come here, baby, let me look a little closer,” Bobby’s hand is beckoning Hanbin to come closer. 

Hanbin approaches Bobby cluelessly, not aware that Bobby was bluffing. As soon as Hanbin is within the reach of his arms, Bobby pulls Hanbin body onto his and holds him tight. “There’s nothing on your face, silly. I just want to cuddle with you, Binnie!” Bobby laughs as Hanbin is fake squirming in his arms, his back is resting on Bobby’s hard chest. He finally surrenders when Bobby nibbles on his earlobes, biting softly on it. Hanbin laces their fingers together as he relaxes into Bobby’s embrace, head resting on Bobby’s collarbone, bodies glued together on the bed. 

“Jiwonnie..should we watch a movie before we go to bed? I downloaded one yesterday, I really want to watch it with you.” Hanbin turns his head to give kisses on Bobby’s jawline. 

“Anything you want, baby.” Bobby sits both themselves up, arms still firm around Hanbin’s waist, he doesn’t want to let go. Hanbin is struggling to reach to the laptop on the desk next to his bed, with Bobby giggling behind his back.

“Ugh..you’re lucky I love you, Jiwon.” He gives Bobby a peck on the lips and grins, “This is the second surprise, a cuddling session with me!”

Hanbin props his laptop on a pillow balanced on top his thighs, as he’s wriggling his way back into Bobby’s embrace. He cuddles into Bobby, their fingers loosely interlaced as he rests his head on top of Bobby’s chest. Bobby has his arms wrapped around Hanbin in a snug hug, his cheek resting on top of Hanbin’s head, occasionally giving it tender kisses. 

They are watching a movie titled _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_. The movie tells of a couple who had fallen out of love, and chose to have their memories erased. Only to find that they are meant to be, as their fate brings them back together despite circumstances. A magnetic pull between two strangers, an unexplainable force of nature that links them back together. With a touch of nihilistic view that is being overridden by the fated path of two soulmates, Hanbin had been meaning to watch this particular one since he saw it under a list of 50 most romantic movies. He’d been waiting to watch it together with Bobby and figured this will be the perfect movie to convey the things he’s been meaning to say but just couldn’t put into words.

The credit rolls as the sky turns red, and Hanbin can feel his eyes are getting heavy. It must be all the carbs he had earlier, he thinks. But then he’s more inclined to believe that it’s because he’s feeling blissful wrapped in Bobby’s warm hug. He tilts his head to look at Bobby, seeing his face in thinking mode, still trying to digest the movie. Hanbin tries to get Bobby’s attention by kissing the back of his hand, 

“Do you get the movie, Jiwonnie? Do you like it?” Hanbin puts his laptop back on the bedside table. 

Bobby strokes Hanbin’s cheek softly with the back of his index finger, smiles his bunny smile, “I think I do, baby. But I wanna hear what you think.”

“I think that..some lovers are fated to be. Some love stories are meant to be written for two specific characters. Some souls are destined to meet. No matter how hard the universe tries to separate them, there’s a bigger force pulling them back to each other. Just like the pull of gravity. I think, and I want to believe..that’s what we are. Kim Jiwon, in a world full of possibilities and circumstances, I’d still choose you time and time again, over and over again.”

“Kim Hanbin, I believe we’re meant to be. No matter what. Oh, and by the way, thanks for taking care of Pooh, Binnie.”

“Thanks for taking care of my heart, Jiwonnie.” 

Bobby’s most adorable smile finally returns. The crescent eye crinkle, the charming bunny teeth, the cutest dimples on the softest baby skin. Hanbin loves Bobby’s beautiful smile so much, he’d give everything to protect it. 

“Kiss me, Jiwonnie.” Hanbin shifts his body to be on top of Bobby. Pupils dilating as he stares at him. Eyes longing, lips slightly parting. Hanbin just want this moment to last forever in his memory. 

Bobby traces Hanbin’s lips slowly and parts it with his thumb, then he moves in to join Hanbin’s eager lips. He presses lightly onto those pillowy soft lips, eyes half closed as he surrenders into Hanbin’s touch willingly. 

“I’m head over heels for you.” Hanbin brushes their lips together, teasing Bobby endlessly. Frustration abounds as Bobby’s breath is getting heavy under the sexual tension. 

“Baby, please don’t tease..” Bobby begs.

Hanbin smashes their lips together as he pulls Bobby in a tight embrace. Limbs intertwined as Hanbin kisses every inch of Bobby’s body. They make love as many times as they miss each other. Countless sweet words, soft lingering touches and endless kisses later, they find themselves not wanting to leave each other’s arms.

“My last surprise, is a song I made for you..You’re my muse, my love, my heart. I love you, Kim Jiwon.” Hanbin kisses his forehead so tenderly. Bobby had already fallen asleep as he came down from his last orgasm. His tired body and mind finally find rest in Hanbin’s arms. 

“I’ll have you hear it properly when you wake up tomorrow, baby.” Hanbin kisses Bobby’s eyelids softly. He plugs the USB to his laptop and presses play on his music software. 

Hanbin cradles Bobby’s head gently as he’s moving him to rest on his shoulder. His arm pulls Bobby’s upper back to hold him close to his chest. He takes Bobby’s left hand, wraps his own around it and pulls it to rest on top of his heart. 

The sun is still setting and sending its rich hues through the light billowy curtains in Hanbin’s room. The music is playing softly on a loop in the background. A love letter from Kim Hanbin to Kim Jiwon in the form of a song. 

_I whisper your name at night,_  
_“Will you please hold me tight?”_  
_But you’re far away, you took my heart. _

_I long to run into your arms,_  
_Whispering promises that belong only to us._  
_My sincere wish for you to forever hold me tight,_  
_To go through endless I love you, countless good night._  
_Through uncertainties and my own insecurities,_  
_If I'm with you, I know I’ll be alright._

_ Kiss me later, when you return,  
So forever we will not part. _

Hanbin whispers to Bobby as the song lulls him to sleep,

“I’m yours, forever and always. No matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter @sillswillsdills
> 
> Forgive me as i'll never be able to write lyrics as beautiful as Hanbin does :( please think of mine only as part of the story and not at all an attempt to emulate Hanbin's beautiful words.
> 
> Hope you guys like reading this chapter as much as I like writing it.


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